Thoughts on Children

This was a blog I originally had posted elsewhere and decided to close down that blog and do this one. I should let you know that yes I am a parent of 3 children. I believe that if more parents were to understand what is being taught in the bible and showing it to there children it would change the outcome of so many relational problems between the two generations. Here is my old blog

Should Children Obey their Parents in any given situation? That is something a child must face every day. I remember asking myself many times what was the chance I would get away with something versus that I would get caught. When I got to be a teen My parents started attending church and quoting these versus to me. My dad was always yelling at me about it, probably because I rarely did it. Now the bible says this about it:

Eph 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Eph 6:2 HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),
Eph 6:3 THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.

But there is several things that are over looked about pushing this bible text on your children.
Let me ask you this Dad. What would happen if you preach this to your wife?

Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

I have tried this on a occasion or two. I have asked other men about it. They all laugh In other words it is a good way to get your self put in the dog house. This is NOT something we should go yelling at our wives. (This will be talked about on another blog)
We know that yelling at our wives about that bible verse makes her mad in many senses you would be provoking a fight with her. Very very few women will tolerate having this shoved down their throat . But we yell at our kids all the time. "Bible says obey your parents. So we shout this verse at our kids and expect a good reaction out of them when we know for a fact that our wives will refused to cook dinner for a week over this. Why do women react so badly after all its just the bible right? Because it is a insult its is flat out provoking your wife.

Eph 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Notice the Key words "do NOT provoke" (emphasis added) The question should become then How do we correct with out provoking?

Eph 4:15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ,
Eph 4:16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.

1Co 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
1Co 13:5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
1Co 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
1Co 13:7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

The next time you feel the urge to let your kids have it ponder their reaction to it. If you yell and holler and boss them around in a non loving fashion this is provoking them is it not? If your boss comes up yelling screaming and cussing at you what do you feel like? Humiliated put down discounted and with out value. And it is only fear of the loss of your job that restrains you from turning right around and giving your boss what he is giving you. I have even felt extreme anger because of a boss treating me badly. hoping that they get a flat tire on the way home from work or that they get a ticket for one mile an hour over. People flat out hate being humiliated. Your kids are no different. If you come up to your kid and shout at them something like "I can't believe you did something so stupid." In their mind you just said kid your stupid. Then they get angry in anger they react in disobedience. Even if it is just in there own minds by simply thinking I hate my parents. God hears that even when you don't. By them hating you they are NOT honoring you. And that takes away the promise that was offered. And you provoked it.

If you are not correcting your child in love then you are provoking to anger. Which means that you are acting as a stumbling block to your child.

Mat 18:6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it is better for him that a heavy millstone be hung around his neck, and that he be drowned in the depth of the sea.

A finishing suggestion. Next time you need to correct your children. Stop and pray about it pick your bible ask God to lead you to verses that just might help you know what to do. And ask HIM simply Lord what is the appropriate reaction to this. In many cases you might just find that it simply is not worth the argument because it just might be to petty.

Footnote
All bible next was from Nasb printed 1977. All bible text is in red to help differentiate from my words and the official bible text. It does NOT indicate that Jesus stated it.