Blind Eye

One thing that has started to bother me more and more about reading the bible is how much people who claim to follow the bible ignore it. Most Christians of today don't give much thought to those who are less fortunate in this country. In most cases if a person tells their story the christian will recommend food stamps or something of that nature. I get so angry about this partly because of how many times it has bitten me. But also because of the stand the bible takes on the subject. Christians are so concerned with self they will either do the minimum or nothing at all. Yet on the other side of the fence, those who could care less about YHVH will often times give the most.

A little over a year ago I went to central Florida for a job with a Verizon franchise store. Finally my dream job was coming through. I drove 3000 miles for this job. When I got there I had the finale interview and was hired and I was so happy. Then it happened. Things started going bad. First day on the new job I was told I am so sorry I can't actually hire you. Corporate has decided that they may be closing the doors of this location within 60 days. Then I was told that my place to stay was no longer available. I found a new place to stay for a short time but that to fell through as well. I wound up sick as a dog in my car with 5 bucks in my pocket. And was staying in a Walmart parking lot. This was not cool. At one point I realized if I did not do something to keep my strength up I might die in my car. So I spent 3 dollars on yogurt and 7up. This lasted about 2 days. After that I had two dollars in my pocket and was so hungry and barely on my feet. I was scared and didn't know what to do. I pleaded with my Savior that I trusted Him completely. please provide for me. I had never felt so open and vulnerable to Him in my life. It was a scary place to be yet very comforting feeling that close to Him trusting Him with my all. I felt the conviction to spend one more dollar on a marker and then find card board. Which I did. I made a sign two hours later I had $50 in my pocket. My love for my creator filled my heart. I spent each dollar as if it was a precious gift. Not indulging in anything frivolous. As my money started to drop I realized this money was a help but $50 only lasts so long. So I went out again. And in about 2 hours again I had picked up another amount of money.
But I had also had one christian man come and talk to me. He asked me few questions found out I was a believer as well. In fact he knew I was not bluffing him because we had a very in depth conversation about faith. After that he said he wanted to help but did not feel right about giving cash. This is a popular Christian thing. They do not want to give someone cash incase they are strung out on drugs or alcohol. I have found because of the one of the Jim Staley videos that I have posted that this is a wrong attitude and wrong behavior. I knew I had picked up a few dollars and this small cash of food would help. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the wad of singles and a couple 5's as I straitened out the mess I got down to almost the last dollar and it was not a single but a twenty. Again I had picked up right around 50 dollars.

My question is why is it that Christians are less giving then unbelievers. The man who gave me food was great. But what about all the others who do nothing for someone on the street with a run of bad luck and nothing more. Why was there not a christian to offer me a place to stay? One Christian stopped. And that was all.

Why do Christians ignore the bible.
Proverbs 28
27 He who gives to the poor does not lack, But he who hides his eyes does have many curses. 28When the wrong rise up, men hide themselves; But when they perish, the righteous increase.

There is so much promise and command to give to the poor and yet all the churches send them away to take refuge under the protection of a government who hates their god so much they teach children at the earliest of ages that He does not exist. "Evolution" It is my thoughts that the churches today are sick and they sicken our creator. This verse proves that there are many curses that will be coming at American churches. With hundreds of verses giving command to help the poor the American church turns a blind eye. My heart bleeds for them. And my anger burns. Further YHVH's anger burns for him to say that he will curse something is a big deal. Especially something that is suppose to belong to Him.

Seek and You Shall Find

The bible lays out something very interesting in this verse.
Mathew 7
7Ask and it shall be given to you, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you. 8“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it shall be opened. 9“Or is there a man among you who, if his son asks for bread, shall give him a stone? 10“Or if he asks for a fish, shall he give him a snake? 11“If you then, being wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Father who is in the heavens give what is good to those who ask Him!

I will focus on the seek portion of this scripture. How often do you get frustrated with circumstances when you cannot find something that you know YHVH is leading you to. You may not even be sure what it is but you know He is leading you to something. I know in my case I find that at times I will get overly frustrated with trying to find the answers to what is going on in my life. One of my bigger questions is "What is holding me back from my beloved? What hinderance is messing things up? Whats wrong with me?"
And this can lead to deep frustration which can result in stupid outbursts.
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you are trying to figure out what YHVH is trying to get across and yet you feel as dumb as a brick because it just won't sink in?

YHVH once offered a man anything he ever wanted. After thinking it over a bit Solomon asked for wisdom. And he was granted to be the wisest and the richest man that ever lived. he wrote a few parts of the bible that are very intriguing to me. One of which was

Proverbs 25:2
2It is the esteem of Elohim to hide a matter, And the esteem of sovereigns to search out a matter

In the King James Version it says The Lord takes joy in hiding things.
I found this so enlightening. This means that those things that I am struggling to find are hidden on purpose. Sometimes as I seek things with a diligent meek heart I find myself drawing nearer to my creator. In this verse I find that I have been getting frustrated for no solid reason other than my own ignorant impatience. If it is hidden there is something to be gained in seeking it instead of it just coming clear with ease. Take joy in the hunt for those things in which your creator is trying to lead you to. I know that I sure intend to make this a new part of my life.

Broken Wisdom

In the last days I have been seeking understanding or wisdom on many things. Such as getting my business off the ground before it fails and potentially finding a job.
Tonight something happened in which I really cried out to YHVH. I am in a sitation that is really causing problems for me and those around me.

I am living in a very depressed area it has been severly depressed for abouot 20 years. Now mind you this is not my home this is where I am stuck at. I really want to go home. Home to me is Gulf Breeze FL. Its a little suberb of Pensacola. It makes me very happy there. So here I am crying out to YHVH becuase of something I did that I felt was wrong but I had no choice.
At least not a safe choice. As my heart lay breaking and my tears flowing, I asked Him what I had done so wrong to desrve this. You see I have been seeking somethings that most of my readers (not many) would disagree with. In my own life I have been seeking to follow the statues and commands of the bible. I am doing it for two main reasons. First becuase I love Him, and second becuase I do seek his reward or blessing. And in so much as my suffering I have been struggling with the why of it. Did I do wrong. Is the promises that are in the bible only meant for those who actually recieved the original message? The second one bothers me the most even though I feel the answer is no. So here I am sitting here pleading with Him about all this and He reminds me of something that happened yesterday.

As I am crying out trying to understand anything from Him that He might let me know in this suffering He remind me of her. And what bothers me about this the most is this. When I am broken and desperate for YHVH is when I feel He is the closest. But I also feel like His promise are the most real. What I am saying is for some strange reason when I am at my most vulnerable with my Lord and Savior I feel like He is always reminding me that the girl of my dreams will be given to me soon. Just be patient and trust Him. The girl is the desire of my heart. Every since meeting her my faith grows stronger just at the mere thought of her. If I look at a picture of her I feel the uncontrolable desire to go pray. What gets interesting is the more logical minded I get the more distant from my creator I feel. The more I feel that this dream girl of mine is only a pipe dream. The closer I draw to Him the more I feel like he tells me she is comming. Even when I am not trying to seek understanding about her. The closer to Him I feel in my brokeness the more I feel as if this blessing will be given and that I can trust Him for her. That is why I feel this blog should be called Broken Wisdom. In closing I want to send a msg to that someone if she ever found my blog.

You are my dream girl. You are the promises that are in the bible. No matter what has happened no matter what you have done I desire you as the only woman for me.
You see one day my dad asked me what was wrong. I told him that the one thing I wanted from Him was his blessing regarding you. I even said that I wouldn't sin with you. He answered, You may have my blessing regarding her as long as you don't sleep with her and you take the time to get to know her. This was a miricle to me. I pray that you will remember me and maybe one day want me in your life as much as I want you. With that said I will close this blog with LU. You know who you are dear one.

Restore the Strong Man

I haven't had the chance to read John Bunyan's book Holy War just yet. But I have spent allot of time thinking about the premise of the book. I have talked to a few who have read it and it is very good. It is one of the few novels I will read. 

I think about how this nation was taken down the brink of destruction because of its level of sin. I think about those that founded our country and who replaced those leaders. The strong men of this nation have been replaced with those who are sympathetic to the enemy and his cause. But this is not the only place that has taken a hit of removing the strong man. The strong man has been removed from the home. Some because of cowardous choice, and others have been removed by the changing tide of how we have been taught to view the men who were suppose to be the leaders and protectors of the homes. It is part of my belief system that men need to stand again as strong men. It is my thoughts that women should stand as the woman of Proverbs 31. That means that she is given lead of the house and goings on with in. And most importantly she is worth trusting to take this role seriously. But the men need to stand in the place of protection for her. He is close at hand to guide his children in the way of the YHVH. And they work as a unit to face each day head on no matter what it brings. The man is respected in all that he says and does. And the woman is honored, loved, and understood by him. 

I peter 3:7
 7in the same way, husbands, live understandingly together, giving respect to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the favour of life, so that your prayers are not hindered. 8to sum up, let all of you be like-minded, sympathetic, loving as brothers, tenderhearted, humble-minded, 9not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, in order to inherit a blessing.


It is my prayer: Restore the strong man to his place of strength, place a woman of honor by his side for her counsel of wisdom.
In the Name Of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach Amen.

Let Me Not Be a Friend of Job

I feel fortunate that I currently am working for a guy who has no problem with me listening to audio on my phone as I do the tasks that he has set me to. It has aloud me to listen to the bible for hours on end. Today I listened to all of Job. This is not the first time I have been through Job but I did want to make something new of it. So I was on the look out for something different than the last time. 

The part that stuck out right away was jobs friends. Many of Jobs words were deep questions toward YHVH. Some of his wordings were rather aggressive. I understand why he felt what he did as I have lost many of the same things that he did.  But I also listen to how YHVH handled him at the end. And I wondered how much of those bitter words were prompted by so called friends. 

I realized that I did not want to be a friend like that. I asked in prayer that I would never be a "friend of Job" to someone I knew. Many times I have been treated in similar fashion by those who thought they knew more than I. They came at me with platitudes a plenty. 

I pray now that I would sit beside my friend who lost all of his children. I pray I would tear my clothes and throw ashes and weep bitterly for the suffering that has been endured. I desire to sit with my friend speaking little but do all that can be done to cary the burden just a little. If my friends asked me what my thoughts might be. I would say simply that my friend need a true friend. And would say nothing more for fear of being a big mouthed fool. 

Sometimes when we meet with those in suffering action is needed if it can be relieved by us. But if it is a pain that can't be relieved then it should be endured with. Shutting our puke hole lest we vomit our self righteousness all over our friends who suffer. I lost a friend over this very thing. He did not understand my words were sorrow and little else. I lost my children and a friend as well. I miss you Cody.